My more than 25-years-old refrigerator just started screaming again, “Please! Put me out of my misery!”

It will be euthanized between 6 and 10 pm today when my new energy-efficient Toshiba refrigerator arrives.

In lieu of flowers, a contribution to your favorite charity is appreciated.

Caution to any of my friends with sensory-input issues: You do not want to play this video.