The best of Romney Storm Tips (from my friend, Michael, out in California)
1. If your home is in the path of Sandy, evacuate to your second or third home immediately.
2. If your home sustains damages from Sandy, ask your parents for money to fix it.
3. Airlines can resume their flights. Just tell passengers to keep their windows rolled up.
5. Make sure you’ve moved your cars to the top floor of your garage.
6. Don’t worry about evacuating. If it’s a legitimate storm, your house has a way of shutting itself down to protect itself from damage.
7. If you must drive in the storm, use extra-strength rope to secure your dog to the roof of the car.
8. Ensure your staff secures your yacht with strong rope.
9. We have more detailed storm tips but we aren’t going to tell you any them until after the election…